My old dark friend
When kids
we used to be scared of the dark, thinking we could find our worst fear and
will be eaten in our sleep… now as a
grown up I think of the darkness more as an old friend that was always waiting
my come back.
For so long
I have been dealing with monsters, ghosts, scary thoughts, people leaving,
friends dying.. I have been heartbroken endless times and yet all that brought
me back to that little corner next to my bed with a clear view of the sky
thanks of a convenient window above me.
When I used
to be in complete silence, learning to deal with the unknown and a mental
blindness, the fact you could get a glimpse of light seems like a hallucination…
but there I was, walking towards that oasis, not caring if it was real or not,
it was just damn beautiful to let it pass.
I draw into
that deep, deep ocean, swimming and for the first time I found my north. You
should have seen it, so beautiful, so peaceful, so fulfilling…so perfect. Every
word coming out sounded like the most hypnotic melody that will attract me to
him, got lost into those eyes, got drunk with that pure soul. I was
finally leaving that old dark friend without knowing it was giving me just a
break.
As someone
that finds writing so cathartic, this …I cannot describe it and I even hate
myself for not being able to express with words what it is just the most beautiful
essence of someone…their soul, that part that was never touched by anyone so far.
You could
not see what I did, just an ocean of confusing emotions fighting at the same
time, a hurting heart, a chest with so many scars… yet I wanted to mend all of
it and I just attempted to give (ironically) the most messed up part of me I had
at the moment but yet the most valuable…my heart.
Endless nights,
songs made with laughs, unspoken words replaced with smiles, tender looks that
surpassed distance and time…. oh time! another relative concept. Our brains had no
words in this because it was beyond their logic. How do you expect me to summarize
in one word or phrase so many emotions and sensations playing together like
butterflies in an open field?
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